When you choose to be a strict vegetarian in America then you choose to feel excluded. I get that. It’s a self-imposed exile from a place your friends, your family, nearly everyone you meet visits daily. I have to admit that I miss the amazing flavors that meat can bring to dishes, but I’ve made peace with missing out on that for the social, political, moral, and health benefits of abstaining from killing sentient things as much as we can.
There’s another dimension we’ve been discovering lately, and it’s related to hospitality, generosity, and prosperity. The dominant American culture of eating meat says that the lack of meat at a shared dinner table means a lack of all three to your guest. Meat equals money, and if you’re not sharing it you’re being rude, greedy, and perhaps you are poor. So when our friends, many of whom are fabulous cooks (some even deserving of actual gourmet foodie status), want to share with us the ‘good stuff’ they cannot. We go to visit with friends, enjoy their company, and then tell them we are not accepting their very real and delicious offers of hospitality, generosity, and prosperity. By choice. At nearly every meal we share. That’s a complication, a lingering foreign-ness that our friends and family most likely do not encounter with anyone else they share food with and we always hope that we’re aware of the weirdness and thankful that they can still hang with us.
Because we are veg, eating at ethnic restaurants together is a good time. We get a variety of choices that are tasty, and these restaurants often serve food family style, meant to be ordered as a group and shared. But if we go out with friends there will usually be no sharing. There’s the meat side of the table and the non-meat side. No way to share the wealth of friendship with food there and another strong reminder of our choices.
After being veg for this long we’re pretty sure it’s not a fad. In fact we’re kind of amazed at our stubbornness. Honesty, if you saw the food we have to turn down sometimes, you’d be amazed too. But we’re sticking to our meat embargo, and we’re working on ways to get around the blockade in the ways we can. We’ll see what happens.
Cheers to everyone that entertains us and complicates their foodlives because of our decisions, and thanks for sharing the wealth that is your company.